One of my favourite sayings I learnt from Tony Robbins is ' if your not growing your dying!'
BOOM there it is. The life coaches magic bullet to ALWAYS moving forward and ALWAYS getting better.
The trouble it’s not always the best idea, its exhausting and it creates this anxiety of ‘I’ll be happy when’. It creates this made up treadmill of handwork ALWAYS, grind it out and hustle harder.
Don’t get me wrong I believe in self development. I know that humans have a desire to grow, to be challenged and find their edges.
What I aim outlay in the following paragraphs is the signs to watch out for, signs that its gone too far.
#1 Humans aren't designed to be alone, we developed in groups, tribes and community. Our minds, heart and souls are wired to connect. We need people around us. More, we need to be useful to those people around to our community or tribe.
The challenge with self development in it's extreme, is it focuses so much on the individual. We lose the real focus -to have a better life. This isn’t; for ME to have a better life. But more the collective around me to have a better life.
The sad realisation is that we have moved too far away from the village life to ever understand the complexity of it as it was.
I'm not suggesting life was better, or easier then, however there was meaning and purpose woven into the very social fabric of what existed. Men, woman and children all had a place in the order of things. While things were harder and less safe, there was a collective understanding that the group mattered. There seems to be a lost wisdom in such ideas that could be useful today.
#2 The tread mill of always needed to develop, get better or heal. At some point all the work you’re r doing needs to take a break so that you can smell the roses with the new evolved senses. So many people jump into the next great thing without the time to enjoy what they have just achieved. Self development/healing is hard and it takes effort. So therefore you should be able to take a moment (or more) to celebrate. To relish in your achievement and sit and watch the new world that your creating.
#3 It’s another drug, another addiction blcoking people sitting with the truth of whats going on for them.
If you’re always in another course, another program, levelling up, there is no space to sit with yourself. No space to check the fact that maybe you HAVE to do these things because ultimately your not happy with who you are…
I get it its a fine line.
Because if your not some of those courses might help… but it's the need to be doing more that becomes an issue. These parts of us that have to work hard to be worthy.
#4 It’s an ego game.
I find this very prevalent in the ‘plant medicine world, powerful and profound work when done correctly. Yet often it’s just a chance to big note ones self, to declare to the world how ‘evolved’ or ‘enlightened’ we are.
It’s not lost on me that this ego game is the very thing most people say they’re trying to remove by doing such experiences. It is worth noting that i’m not trying to sit here from a glass castle - I know I have acted that way about such experiences.
All in all I think its another great example of what we need more of in this world right now - BALANCE. We need to find the space to do both. To be and to grow. self development isn’t the enemy its just a vehicle for us to drive. It’s how we choose use it.